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So I've had an esophageal blockage since about 4:30 yesterday evening, and this is what my head came up with last night in between bouts of [redacted]:

🎵
It's amazing, twenty years have flown
since I started paying back this loan
and it's really hard to find a job
but that doesn't stop the banking mob
so let me introduce to you
the hell I'll be stuck in for years --
Starving Artists' Loan Repayment Plaaaan!

[kazoo band solo here]

[chorus]
We're social lepers living in a van --
We hope you have enjoyed your stocks!
Social lepers living in a van --
at least it's better than a box.

Social lepers living,
Social lepers living,
Starving artists washed up on the sand! [bang bang]

It's wonderful to be here!
It's certainly a thrill.
It's such a lovely lifestyle and
we wish that you could try it out, we'd love to show you how!

I don't really want to stop the show,
But I've run out of parody lyrics.
🎵

You're welcome.

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Toot.Cat

On the internet, everyone knows you're a cat — and that's totally okay.