hello, dear toot.cat people!
i’m raphael, and this is my #introductions toot over here. :)
i like a variety of things (python programming, rock climbing, puns, dark wave, drawing, archery, tea, cats, chocolate…), tend strongly towards the nerdy/shy, and am coming to this instance from mastodon.social.
hey y’all! <3
damn, andrew macfarlane seems to have hit upon *something* in his video making recently. his latest few rock climbing videos have been completely amazing stuff.
here he is bouldering in the scottish highlands with the legendary (and strong af) dave macleod: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJ4HiOcKQzU
finger health, sports, optimism
i am massively proud of myself. i managed to overstrain a finger pulley a while ago. because i really need my 2 bouldering sessions per week to retain my sanity, i stuck with easy stuff for an entire session and managed to not aggravate it further.
in fact, my usual sessions would aggravate it about as much as it would heal until the next session, so i expect slight improvements. <3
me: if this is going to work out, i’ll have to stay disciplined with my time. mo–fr is thesis time, sa–sun is work time.
also me: i wonder if i could draw poofy kim wilde hair in a mignola/mcclaren-ish style. i want to draw all the d&d characters. i really want to draw winnie harlow as an 80s styled fabulous storm (x-men).
mh --- but with some +
over the last days, i’ve been a ball of anxiety basically unable to function. shit might go down that could deprive me of payoff for the last years’ worth of study i did. i’m terrified of how many unknowns i’m facing.
but today, i phoned who i could, wrote all the emails i could, and tried talking myself that no matter the outcome, i will still be me. life will go on. somehow.
and then i went to the climbing gym. the world reduced itself to a small set of moves between coloured plastic holds right in front of me. puzzle-solving. athleticism. then i went home, ate, and made tea. i feel like it’s the first time i breathed this week.
not only am i slowly starting to grok that the big question in the room is only big on the surface and the small everyday things that light a corner of the world up with joy are deep and important, despite seeming small on the surface, i feel i made more progress with my studies just this evening than all of last week.
uuuugh, that feeling when you suddenly realise a misunderstanding that could cost you the payoff for the last years’ work. that clump of ice in the pit of your stomach, a brain incapable of entertaining any other thought, except regularly interjecting the general notion what a colossal failure one is.
yt algo, fash bs
i know i’m kinda preaching to the choir here, but it’s massively astounding how much youtube’s algorithm is pushing fashy bs.
with no google account, just blocked tracking & regularly deleted cookies, watching almost exclusively rock climbing- or making-related stuff on yt, at least one of the recommendations always is a variation of ‘jordan peterson DESTROYS…’.
what an obsession this algorithm has with that particular washed-up lousy excuse of an intellectual.
TFW your random playlist throws the first few notes of any nier:automata song at you, and your mood becomes instant melancholy. #sadrobotmusic
nothing quite like having told co-workers that a specific, fine-grained markup for a certain case would probably come in handy in the future, then being told ‘oh no, it’s fine enough as free text, we need the unstructured freedom’ and a couple of years later, getting a wish list from the same co-workers that would benefit greatly from having the markup to provide the meaning that i now have to parse from free text.
art · archery · bouldering · philosophy · code · tea · cats · chocolate
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