it's taken many years but i've come a long way. i never gave up on coding because it was too dear to me as a form of expression, but for a while it inevitably involved a meltdown. i never wanted to let those bastards take the craft from me, and though i still melt down sometimes, they never did take it. i feel more committed than ever to the stewardship of the craft and i feel more fulfilled than ever by what i accomplish.