The Thing seems to work!

The good: I tried playing back the tracks for the song I'm currently working on, and it did in fact sound tons better. (When I was playing back with the onboard audio, there were lots and lots of glitches which I was afraid were permanently in the recorded tracks -- but this seems to be not the case. 🎉 )

The problematic:

  1. The output sounds like it has a short-delay echo effect on it. This may have something to do with the fact that the sound system sees the hardware as Dolby 7.1 Surround. and I can't seem to convince it otherwise. Nor do I see any way to select which output(s) I'm playing through.

  2. Not at all sure how to access the different inputs. In CoolEdit Pro, you can select which of the available inputs to use for recording; in Audacity, there seems to be a choice of sound systems and number of channels and I don't know which of these things actually works and which is just showing me fake connections. It will take some experimentation, assuming anything is actually set up right (see item 1).

What do you mean there's not enough room on my desk for my audio interface??


There was a spare internal-sized screw loose. I don't see any possible place it could have come from; maybe it got left inside by the factory, and the owner just never bothered to remove it? Mysteeerious.

Construction seems solid. It was easy to get apart (once I found the correct-sized hex wrenches -- 2 different sizes, 10 screws) and put back together.

I shall probably attempt to power it up tomorrow, unless my life decides to interfere.

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The Device has arrived. It's early -- I wasn't expecting it until July.

It sounds like there's something loose inside, so I'm going to take the cover off to see what's up before I connect any power.

morbid covid-19 audio humor 

So, in commemoration of the US's one hundred thousandth official COVID-19 death today, I made some morbid humor because that's how I roll.

Hoping it will go... viral (sorrynotsorry). Please feel free to spread it among all of your contacts. ^.^
Words and sources are on
Image credit: watermark says (Twitter); credit to @LottieVixen for finding it. <3

...but I got over it.

(photos taken with much help from @Harena 💚 :ferret:​ )

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So, the power's back on, about 22 hours after it went off.

Here's the scene in the street in front of our house just a few hours ago.

So, like, it has USB ports, but neither the BIOS nor Windows seem to know what to do with the keyboard and mouse I plugged into them.

So I went looking for some PS/2 peripherals, and... I *do* have more recent stuff somewhere, but what I found was a Model M and a ball-mouse.

The keyboard I dug up works, some, but some of the keys don't -- so I used ALT-numpad codes to type in the missing letters in the username and password. (Why can't Linux do this. )

It has a gig of RAM, which was pretty awesome for 2003 (looks like that's when it was set up)... and, like, 7 card slots... and, um, plenty of disk space, as you can see from the screenshot below! :battery_full:

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Fig. 1 how to properly charge a mobile girl

To be sure that your girl is properly connected to her girlpower supply, always check her "charging" indicator rather than assuming she is okay. Girls tend to feel more secure knowing that someone will notice if they are on the edge of collapse.

Note that with modern girl technology, it is no longer necessary to discharge completely in order to avoid the "memory effect". This is an antiquated notion now encouraged by the patriarchy in order to force girls to function at less than optimum capacity.

It is now best to allow your girl to charge fully overnight, regardless of whether she is completely exhausted at the end of the day.

It is also highly recommended to serve her breakfast before attempting activation, because reasons.

(previous post:

(I know this isn't as good as the other one, but I saw this GIF and... well. We do what we must, because we can.)

Thank you for asking! There are a number of different ways, and it generally depends on when the model came out.

The very oldest models, such as myself, tend to have a big red switch on one side. These can require a substantial amount of force to operate, but are very reliable and durable.

(Note that this era of girlware can be temperamental and cranky; e.g. if your girl has a hard drive, it's best to park the heads before turning her back off again in order to prevent damage to the disk surface when the head-actuator powers down. A number of utilities are available.)

Models from the 90s will generally have a push-toggle switch on the front. This is much easier to operate. In the early 2000s, when ATX became available, this switch was converted from toggle to momentary contact.

For the newest models (2020 and later), you simply press and hold the nose. The girl may squeak briefly when activated. Be sure to give her frequent skritches in order to maintain proper attachment.

Are we really happy here
with this lonely game we play?
Keeping six feet... away....
Seeking paper products
someone else has stashed away...
We're lost... a mask... parade...
(with apologies to George Benson)

Word on the street is...

(Activism is a way of life; teach it to the young, and maybe the world will have a chance after this.)

They just called again, so it's time for another exciting edition of...

Hey babe -- if I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me FOR CHARITY?

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