So, this is a thing @Harena's therapist pointed us at today: (ignore the unfortunate domain name)

I think I must be a wave at the core, with a fairly thick overlay of anchor and a strong undercurrent of island.

All of the people I've felt close to (starting with ) have had a strong sense of justice (I think that's a large part of what I gravitate towards), and that's where my "experience [of] justice, fairness and sensitivity" have come from.

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@woozle @Harena

Interesting. I think I have flopped between wave and island, with no anchors. In most relationships I have been wavy, but b/c of how those turned out, fell back to my natural island core being, but the deep emotionality/attachments don't have any where to go, and I fear people see me as unemotional. I try to be my own anchor, but didn't have role models. But being a wave was exhausting to my island-nature.

@Harena @woozle
Since reading that article I've had Joan Baez' song 'No Man Is an Island' stuck in my head, which is annoying pronoun-wise. But I just looked it up and it's based on the poem by John Donne. I think I learned the song in school or in summer day camp or something; kids in the 60's learned protest songs.

@barkstick @Harena I mean, I tend to assume that classifications like this are actually gradients, and any individual is actually going to be all three to varying degrees in varying contexts -- so nobody is *absolutely* an island. It's more like we draw a percentile line somewhere and then, for the sake of brevity, say that people on one side "are" a thing, and those on the other side "are" something else.

("There are two types of people: those that see people as being one of two types,...")

@woozle @Harena
To take the metaphor over the top, I was raised as an island, rode waves for a while and ended up on a deserted isle and haven't found a way back.

@Harena @woozle
I was just trying to feel safe and loved and anchored, but waves are not really stable

@barkstick @Harena This parallels my story a bit -- I was also pretty much raised to be an island, when I wanted to be part of a continent (leading to emotional incontinence? :D ) -- so there were some major tectonic shifts when I figured that out and tried to reconnect with the main landmass...

I think the resultant tsunami is still settling down.

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