Note that if you are in the process of eradicating a nest of and they suddenly begin placing editorials in major newspapers -- explaining how they are just repackaging natural supplies of hemoglobin1 and redistributing it as a value-added service, allowing hundreds of other bedbugs to earn a living from otherwise-worthless unprocessed corpuscles -- you are dealing with an entirely different kind of parasite: a capitalist.

Unlike bedbugs, which carry no diseases or toxic beliefs, capitalists are silent2 killers who can destroy an entire way of life in weeks, leaving a trail of broken dreams behind them.

...which will probably be made into a docu-drama on Netflix.

1. It was just lying around, and they discovered it free and clear. They have paperwork to prove it's theirs. They were the first bedbugs there, so they had a right to it.
2. except sometimes at night when you may hear their mating-call, which sounds kind of like "jerbs... jerbs..."

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