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tobyfee boosted
tobyfee boosted

Custard bubbled up out of the mixer :/

Lady at Harbor Freight said not to weld in this dress

Im gonna try making ice cream with dry ice today! Hope I live

Im gonna try making ice cream with dry ice today!

Wheatabix and frozen berries with powdered sugar for my sick mom.

tobyfee boosted

*me, an amateur comedian, nervously entertaining at a marxist leninist convention*
howre yall doin tonight, make some noise if you love trotsky
*i am immediately booed off the stage*

tobyfee boosted

professor oak: ahh this is my grandson. er... what's his name again?
me (struggling to contain my laughter): POOPBOY

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poop Show more

tobyfee boosted
tobyfee boosted

*looking at the time* SHIT I gofta go to sleep

*keeps browsin* fuck

*toots some more* FUCK

tobyfee boosted

two weeks ago Azealia Banks bet Grimes that there was no way that smoking weed could become not cool.

that musk photo Show more

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Me: Why don't they replace 'coals to Newcastle' with 'an ultraball on a Zigzagoon'?
My Doctor: I meant any questions about the surgery.

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Toot.Cat

A Mastodon instance for cats, the people who love them, and kindness in general. We strive to be a radically inclusive safe space. By creating an account, you agree to follow our CoC below.

Instance Administration

  • Woozle: Supreme Uberwensch, general support, web hostess
  • Charlotte: tech support, apprentice in warp-drive arcana (aka Mastomaintenance)
  • ash: backend stuff, gay crimes

The Project: