ltht @ltht@toot.cat

"I've brought my voice back to its manly level"

"remember: it has to be worn with jeans up to your nipples. that's a requirement"

"we just need to chew a bit off"

(camera shows man attempting to bite into a piece of metal)

"in order to prove the structural integrity of matter, I had to compromise the structural integrity of my pants"

"how dare you 'aha' me and in the same sentence take my dog"

"how do you get good? morally… not morally, but like, how do you get good"

"because you've eaten both cookies, you're in for life"

"he's having little to no benefit but he's enjoying"

"how come your pumpkins are in prison?"

"I don't think I fit in the bum bum"

"one honorable Sir Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien"

"don't freak out, don't freak out, don't freak out--"

(cut back to narrator)

"I was freaked out the whole time"

"oh, it's empty, just for you"

"deforestation complete"

"I'm not a knot theorist"

"oh gosh, it leeked all over the floor!"

(floor is covered in leeks)

"I just had to channel the boulder into my brain"

"that's right: nuclear lasagna"

"autistic people are, statistically, no more likely than neurotypical people to crave the flesh of the living"

"I don't think you should be feeling bad if you eat any particular food or drink any particular drink-- unless, I guess, if you stole it"