them: are you more of a cat person or a dog person
me, sweating, pulling at my collar: uh, uh, i am a human person? definitely a human person, i assure you. no cat people or dog people here, haha!

them: are you more of a cat person or a dog person?
me, slamming down my moonshine: let me tell you about all the fucked up things we’ve done to the auroch


them: are you more of a cat person or a dog person?
blergo: im blergo

@garbados Don't keep us waiting! I wanna know about the fucked up things!

@Reinderdijkhuis scientists across centuries have repeatedly tried to breed the auroch back into existence after it was driven to extinction in the 1600s by hunting and the diversion of natural resources toward cattle. even in the most recent efforts these vain courtiers simply breed cattle for auroch-like traits, creating an inbred hybrid signifying nothing but the degree to which cattle are utterly our pawns.

@Reinderdijkhuis unlike dogs and cats who had a kind of mutual-domestication relationship with humans, cattle were created by two distinct events where groups abducted large numbers of bovids (different types in each event) and force-bred them into subservience, creating cattle as we know them.

@garbados I like the Welcome To Night Vale proverb version of this:

> When someone says, "I'm a dog person," I always reply, "Yeah? Well I'm a lizard person." And then I peel off my face.


them: are you more of a cat person or a dog person

me: I am a shark person

them: ha ha! that is a very funny image. what are you doing

me: *jumps off the pier* I'M GOING OFF TO BE WITH MY PEOPLE

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