tech ptsd, + 

it's taken many years but i've come a long way. i never gave up on coding because it was too dear to me as a form of expression, but for a while it inevitably involved a meltdown. i never wanted to let those bastards take the craft from me, and though i still melt down sometimes, they never did take it. i feel more committed than ever to the stewardship of the craft and i feel more fulfilled than ever by what i accomplish.

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tech ptsd, industry 

it feels pretty weird that so many other devs i know have tech-related ptsd, like that it's just standard to the profession. of course you'll develop stress tremors and debilitating triggers; of course you'll be used and abused; but we're building The Future!! by killing people. besides, the pay is good, right? why complain? 🤦‍♀️

the consequences of our craft require a higher standard, both for our practices and our treatment.

tech ptsd, solidarity! 

if you're dealing with tech ptsd, i feel you. i'm with you. so many are, and together we are strong! there is no shame in walking away from the craft if it doesn't fulfill you, or in staying with it just for the money. we all do what we have to do to survive, and your survival is worthwhile no matter what the depression tells you. you didn't deserve what happened, and someday it will never happen to anyone! ✊ ❤️

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tech ptsd, industry 

@garbados I've been there... turbo-charged out of my mind and couldn't figure out why I hand hand tremors, and sudden onset memory issues.

I had to step back and be part of a COOP... employee owned let me take some control of my stress levels...

of course now I find increasingly mundane and unlikely things to stress about... :)

tech ptsd, industry 

@garbados furthermore, it is fascinating that we all have similer experiences in our chase after the almight dollar...

tech ptsd, industry 

@TheGibson i draw strength from the commonality of our experiences ✊ and i'm really happy to hear working as a coop has helped your health and all ❤️

tech ptsd, industry 

@garbados oh, for real... I had no idea...

I forgot what it was like to be in control.

and the end of year profit sharing is nice too!

In truth, the company I work for has given me my life and health back... I feel certain that by this point I would have developed a serious health issue had I stayed at MASSIVE HEALTHCARE (tm)

@garbados like on terms of burnout, or what they're working on?

@6gain both: bosses abuse us as workers and launder blood through our efforts without our knowledge or consent. it disturbs me how i and so many close to me found themselves writing software with body counts when we thought we were building idle civilian tools.

@garbados I've managed to stay clear of the latter by good luck, I think, but have always found the former too. The image of tech is of magic that anyone can do. The capitalist image of tech is that workers are replaceable, that one dev = any other. One of my most frustrating jobs as head of tech is to try to dispel these myths, but it's sooo hard. People just want tech built. And developers are sadly all too happy too throw their own life/value away in exchange for an interesting challenge...
@garbados I love this idea of what we do as a craft though, as you say. The art of everything from lines of code, up through to pattern design, through to system design, and team relationships. Strikes such a chord, and something I've been trying to figure out the last year. Shit, there's got to be better ways to defend and promote this.

@6gain FL/OSS is an important tactic to it but i feel like collective action is the other half: unions and cooperatives, for example. and the momentum for those is growing all the time: every time they squeeze us, we come closer together, and together we are strong!

@6gain corpers imagine we are replaceable but they betray their ignorance with that sentiment. the aquihire and inevitably low bus factors speak to the rarity of our expertise; we find our craft experiencing both labor starvation and a resource glut, leading to oceans of malware masquerading as utopian works. we are in a unique position to organize against this, to obviate prevailing powers by leveraging our structural advantages.

Thinking about it, this also comes back to something I wanted to do about tech team values, and the idea of making shared tech ideals more open, with more weight. Currently that's not even part of the discussion in most places.
lol, I will never give up this server unless I have to....
@garbados Feels a bit like where the agile manifesto sprang out from, that feeling of disempowerment, and the idea that the wider system could be done better - that "tech" doesn't stop at the codebase or the command line, but extends out to the people, the team, the relationships and the deliverables.

tech ptsd, industry 

@garbados yea yea!! Take it back!!

It’s taking me a bit to cope with tech because of bullying in the computer labs during my formative years- I feel this

tech ptsd, industry 

@garbados wait, what, seriously? I thought I was one of the few people that can’t write code without crying or having a tantrum... *furious spider-man pointing*

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