A Wee Rant about being an Insecure Extrovert
[I wrote this March of 2012 on Tumblr but it still seems relevant to this day]
I know it’s difficult to be an Introvert in a Mostly Extroverted world but I feel that it is equally difficult to be an Insecure Extrovert as well.
Speaking as an Extrovert who draws Introverts to herself … whose closest friends in the entire universe are Introverts, it is very difficult. Between worrying that I’ve done something to piss my friends off (when all they are doing (or not doing sometimes!) is being an Introvert) and worrying that my Extroverted nature has put them off and my strong (and natural) desire to interact with them as an Extrovert, I spend a great deal of the time second-guessing my behavior & self-worth. I wonder why they even want me around.
I see the multitude of “How to Care for an Introvert” posts here [Tumblr] (they turn up even when one does a search for “Extrovert” :P) and they evoke waves of guilt and fear in me… and defensiveness. On the one hand, I want to (of course) treat them properly and in a loving and caring way (and hopefully I have). But I also want to scream from the rooftops, “What about meeeee” and I guess I also fear that the response will be, “Oh stfu, you are an Extrovert, go and mingle with your own sort” oslt.
But you see (and this brings me back to the first sentence of this post), that is very very hard for me because I am shy and insecure. I have issues with trying insert myself into other people’s plans. I am terrible at initiating things because I also have rejection issues (now known as RSD). The worst three words I have ever heard (and seem to be expected of me in general but also as an Extrovert) are, “Just Do It”
Maybe I’m just being whiny, and I am sure there are people who will be offended and will straighten me out on it and I will feel terrible for it ‘cause I said it wrong or I’m Wrong and Bad and whatever, but I would just like to know, where is the “How To Care For An Insecure Extrovert” list? (And ohgods, I know, I should “just do it”/create it myself, right? :P)
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